Saturday 4th April
Today we left Westport and headed to our next destination – the Poo Pub. Yup. That’s right, the Poo Pub, which isn’t the most pleasant name for a pub, but it was actually a really great place! The pub is near Lake Mahinapua (Maa-he-nea-poo-a), hence the nickname, Poo Pub – nobody can say Mahinapua! The Poo Pub is run by a man called Les, he’s 83 and he’s still working in the bar, he even cooked us all a massive meal! But I’m getting ahead of myself... First we made a stop in Greymouth.
We stopped in Greymouth to get supplies – every bus that goes to the Poo Pub has a big party and everyone gets really dressed up. Each bus has a theme, sometimes you have to make outfits from bin bags! Our theme was “Dress as Your Country”, which I was actually really happy about! Being the well organised, practical and ever so amazing person that I am, I already had an outfit! I brought it from home so when we stopped at Greymouth I only had to get a few small things! At Greymouth we picked up a few guys and then we drove to the Poo Pub. We were greeted by Les – he’s a bit of a legend in New Zealand, especially among us Kiwi Experiencer’s. Les gave us a nice introduction to the Poo Pub – he is actually such a dude! He’s really funny and he’s really switched on, which is impressive at his age!
The Poo Pub has accommodation on site – the dorms hold six people and they are quite like cabins, but not as nice – maybe more like a school hut, but better. That was the worst description ever, but anyway. There were obviously six people in our six person dorm - myself, four other girls and a guy that I hadn’t seen before, he had jumped on the bus at Greymouth. Once I got my massive suitcase into the room we did the whole introducing ourselves conversation (always a winner) and after about five seconds I was like, “Eh, where are you from?” – I had an idea in my mind (I don’t understand that expression, obviously you have an idea in your mind, where else would it be, your toesies?) and he was all like “Are you from Bangor?” and I was all like “Oh my gosh, yes! Are you from Bangor?” and he was like “Yes”. And we were all like, totally, oh my gosh, awesome. Not really. But I used the “and he was like” “and I was like” phrase far too many times in that paragraph, so I’ll just stop. Full stop.
After figuring out that we were both from Bangor, the questions really began. “What school did you go to? Where do you live? Cafe? Jamaica Inn? Ballyholme Beach? Do you know this person?”. I think I got a bit carried away with the questions, poor chap, I asked him if he knew pretty much all of Bangor! We got chatting and then we walked down to Lake Mahinapua with a few other people and then down to the beach. They don’t really require much explination – the lake looked like a lake and the sea looked like the sea. After our walk I began the epic task of getting ready for the party! I went all out. We’re talking straight hair and everything -I even cracked out the mascara! The “we’re both from Bangor so we will talk about all these random places” conversation continued for quite a while and eventually it was time for dinner. Now, I think we all know that I like my food, well this was quite the feast. Les cooked us all a big steak and then there were the classics – pasta salad (food of the gods. Fact.), potatoes, coleslaw and corn on the cob – my most favourite veggie! Eating corn on the cob in public is usually quite the ordeal, tonight was no exception. I just took my time and devised a system, I was actually quite proud, I did well – at least I think I did well, maybe I had corn stuck in my teeth but everyone else was too polite to say anything! Venison (Deer) Stew was also available but nah, I don’t fancy eating a little Bambi. I know it’s hypocritical to eat some kinds of meat and not others but I don’t know, there are just some that I won’t eat. I feel bad enough when I eat cow and pig, eating deer and duck and all the other cute animals (especially if they can be domesticated) would cause too many sleepless nights!
After dinner I continued to get ready. It really is quite the process. Eventually I was done and fully kitted out in my “Irish Shamrock” outfit. I am aware that I’m not actually Irish. I’m British, or Northern Irish, whichever you prefer, but really, try thinking of a costume that represents your country. The only thing I could think of for Norn Iron was... terrorism and the Red Hand of Ulster. I’m not complaining about our great national symbols, well maybe I will complain about terrorism, but there weren’t a lot of Northern Irish outfits about, so I settled for a Shamrock! If you are on Facebook then you will have seen the pictures of my outfit – if not, I’ll describe. Prepare to be excited. Basically I wore green knee length socks, green hot pants, a green t-shirt, a black cardigan (for practicality not effect) and a massive shamrock face/hat. I got my shamrock face/hat in Beach Club two years ago – courtesy of Matthew Crawford – I bothered that boy until he gave me the hat! Yesh! I am actually very grateful for the hat – it was a very selfless act – so Crawfie, if you’re reading this, thanks, it has proved very useful! The guy from Bangor, (his name is Pete, for future reference) had a nice green wig on, I feel we did a good job at representing Sunny Bangor!
Most people put a lot of effort into their costumes, my favourites were – Emily and Hannah, the two girls from my room, they dressed as Pigeons from Trafalgar Square and they looked amazing, they even had feathers and feet! A guy called Josh came dressed as the Queen, which was brilliant and a guy Rob came as Phonejacker – he had a red sock over his head with eye and mouth holes cut out – it probably stopped blood circulation but it looked good! Two people from Glengormley went as terrorists/bank robbers (they looked great) and a Welsh chap went as a Welsh Dragon – he put so much effort into his costume, I was glad he got a prize! A girl called Jess (Jess and Josh – the Queen, are brother and sister) went as a Malaysian pirate. One girl went as an English Tea Party, which was really good – she even had a teapot, which was full on Goon (a really cheap wine, it comes in a box, beaut) some other girls went as, Tesco bags, tea bags, the 118 man, a chav, Amy Winehouse, an immigrant, a Jameson bottle, an old English man (literally in pyjamas) and then the Irish girls went as a variety of Irishy things – 40 shades of green and a hurling player, among other things! There were girls from St Trinians, English Knights, a Dutch Windmill, a group of Swedish tennis players, a Swedish prostitute (hmm?), a Frenchie, a man in a bikini and a whole bunch of other costumes! Everyone actually looked really great and it was such a fun night!
Eventually the party ended – I think we were the last ones to leave, no surprises there! Instead of going to bed, like most normal people, I got the midnight munchies, so Pete (the Bangor chap) and I went to the kitchen and I made some tomato soup and toast, which was actually really good. We then had chocolate puddings – it wasn’t exactly a Piccalo’s or a Spice, but it did the job. Once we were sufficiently fed we went back to the dorm - I’m not sure what time this was, but everyone else was asleep, so I’m thinking pretty late! The Poo Party was seriously fun – I’m really glad that the Kiwi Experience stops off there! Although... being the complete saddo that I am, I can’t help feel sad for Les. Obviously I don’t know the man, he could be the happiest person in the whole entire world... but I didn’t see a wedding ring and I know that marriage isn’t everything, but still. It makes me really sad to think of Les, 83 years old and all alone. I’m sure he has lots of friends, but I would hate to think that he never had a Mrs Les. If you know me, then you will know that I’m big into the whole, get married and grow old together thing. I can think of nothing better than spending the rest of my life with my best friend. I know I sound incredibly naive, but I’m really not, I’m actually quite realistic. I know that not all marriages work, not everybody gets married, people don’t need to be married to have happy lives – but for me, that’s what I want, eventually. Eventually. Let me repeat that, that's what I want, eventually. But I still want that, eventually. So it just made me sad to think of Les, being alone. Actually it’s making me really, really sad. Maybe he had a wife and maybe she died. Oh my gosh. I need to stop or else I’m properly going to breakdown! It’s been an emotional day! I hope that Les is happy, I really, really do. I just hate thinking that some people are totally alone in this world. Alright, now that I’m sufficiently depressed I’m going to stop writing this Blog, before I make you sad too!
xx
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