I got 99 problems but a babe ain’t one.

Tuesday 20th April & Wednesday 21st April

Do you like the title? I thought of it all by myself. Not really. Emma Joanne Wood actually told me about this phrase, but before you give her a little round of applause, I feel that you should know that she didn’t come up with it either. A friend of hers used this as their team name during a pub quiz - she passed this information on to me and I chose to make use of it. I think it’s particularly fitting given my love of babes. But I’ll get back to that later!

Today began as a fairly lazy day, involving a lovely lie-in and the wearing of pyjamas. When I finally dragged myself out of bed I gave the British Embassy a ring to see what the craic was – apparently all the cool kids were paying 200 Euros to get a bus from Geneva to London Gatwick... Did I mention that this bus was leaving in less than three hours and I was still in my pyjamas? After a quick phone call home we decided to go for the ridiculously expensive bus and we got packing! We made it to the airport on time, only to discover that our bus wouldn’t leave until 6.00 p.m – the driver was probably a Frenchy, thus explaining the three hour delay. Our little group managed to commandeer the back row, so we were all close to each other, which really helps when you’re on a 16 hour bus journey through three countries! What also helps is a friend with a Macbook full of Disney movies and Glee episodes – I ran the risk of contracting Ginger-itis, but watching Glee and The Little Mermaid made that a risk I was willing to take. (Please note that Eric from The Little Mermaid is my new favourite Disney character – Prince Eric, giving women unrealistic expectations since 1989).



The bus journey actually went quite quickly and we were chillin’ in London Gatwick by 9.00a.m on Wednesday morning! As we’d just missed the next bus to Belfast we went to the easyjet desk and asked about the possibility of getting a flight from Gatwick to Belfast. Thanks to the lovely lady at the desk we managed to get on the 9.00p.m flight to Belfast (and it was totally free – easyjet, if you’re reading this, you’re pure beaut and I will never doubt you again/the next time I’ll just wait in Geneva for a few extra hours, saving myself 200 Euros and two days of travel time). Eventually we were allowed to board and soon we were on our way back to Belfast. Obviously I made it back alive and that’s all you need to know really!

Now, on to the interesting stuff – the Attractive Man Count! Before our bus had even left Geneva the count had reached 99, proving that Geneva is full of hotties and that airports are the places to be! When we were on the bus the count couldn’t increase, but it went through the roof when we hit Gatwick – I actually had to stop counting! I’m seriously considering investing in one of those little Lynx clicker thingys! So anyway, this is my theory – airports are full of men that are travelling for business or leisure purposes. If they are on their own and travelling for business then they must have plenty of money and “it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife”. The single men who are travelling for leisure purposes must have the resources to do this and even if they don’t, well travelled people are super interesting. Did I ever tell you about that time on my Gap Yah? Anyway, I digress – what I’m trying to say is that airports are the place to be! They’re full of attractive men (and probably women, but I wasn’t looking for them) and even if you actually have a life and don’t spend all your time counting attractive men, airports are still great for people watching, which is something that everyone loves :) Jack Johnson even wrote a song about it – it’s called People Watching (duh) and it’s really great, so give that a wee listen!



I feel that I should probably have some sort of conclusion to this Genevan Adventure... I don’t really know what to say, other than I had a really amazing time! Switzerland is a really beautiful country – it’s neat and tidy, everything is on time, the people are attractive, the weather is lovely and even though they all speak French, I would definitely go back! The volcano was a little set back, but we managed to get through it without too much stress (well, for me anyway, I was loving being stuck in Switzerland). We survived a good nine days without anyone throwing a punch or pulling hair, which is quite an achievement given the sharing of a bathroom and hairdryer! There was plenty of bonding time and I think that we all grew a lot closer - now I’m back it feels strange waking up and not having them around! I’m really glad we went on this little adventure – mucho thanks to Emma Joanne Wood for having us (you’re the only Frenchy I will ever love) and a big thanks to all the girls for making it so much fun! I only have one question – where to next?

Xx

P.S Attractive Man Count has stopped now that I’m back in the homeland – but Gatwick really helped boost the numbers into the hundreds! Ahh, Babes, you really stepped up your game this week! I look forward to my next European adventure!

These are a few of my (least) favourite things...

I’m sure you can guess what this blog is going to be about... It’s about some things that I really, really dislike. If you know me then this won’t be a surprise, but maybe, just maybe, you don’t know me as well as you think you do – if that’s the case then consider this a learning opportunity. There may even be a quiz at the end. (There won’t be, but I got your attention, right?)

The first thing that I strongly dislike is, getting up in the mornings. Sure, if you’re lucky enough to encounter an early sighting (normally reserved for delivery men, employers, or my personal favourite, the idiots that ring the house phone at 8.00am), then I will seem perfectly happy. In fact, some might say I’m abnormally happy, the question “why would anyone be happy at this ungodly hour?” usually comes to mind. Confusing I know, how can someone who hates getting up early look so happy? Easy answer; I’m lying. Fact, I hate having to leave my bed.

It’s not just any bed; it’s an M&S bed. Not really, but it might as well be, in fact it is so good that I am going to write an entire paragraph about how fantastic it is. Mr Bed consists of a mattress (a classic “Restmaster” mattress, the label even says, “Rest Assured, Beautiful Beds Since 1898” It also promises “5 fold electric powered action – supports the neck, back, posterior, thigh and lower leg.” I kid you not, I literally sat and the bottom of my bed and directly quoted that from the label on the mattress), sheets (spun from silk, by angels, obviously), a duvet which I sleep on top of, a duvet which I sleep below (Also made by angels), 3 pillows (including a triangle shaped pillow that old ladies use) and a very happy young lady – me! I think you get the point – I hate getting up early, I avoid it at all costs, I will reset the alarm clock, pretend I don’t hear the doorbell and phone... Sometimes I even get up, do something important, like driving Esther to work and then I go back to bed and fall asleep until my favourite time of day – lunch time :)

Another thing I really hate is – Packing. Packing to go somewhere is the most stressful thing ever. You have to make sure you have everything you could possibly need, because we all know that other countries don’t sell toothpaste, or underwear, or socks... If any of these essential items are forgotten then your whole holiday is ruined – well not actually, but that’s what I always think will happen when I’m packing for a holiday – I make sure I have anything and everything I could possibly need. Deciding that everything I own is “essential” does create problems... We all know the Boy Scout Motto, “Be Prepared”, but really, is it practical? Mr Baden-Powell obviously never had to meet the baggage allowance for internal and international flights. It’s a risk we run, should we bring everything and “Be Prepared” to pay the charge for excess baggage – or should we pack light, bringing only what we think we will need, not realising that the things we decide not to bring would come in handy if they weren’t half way across the world! Packing to go home isn’t as bad – you don’t need to neatly fold your freshly washed clothes – instead you can throw all your dirty clothes into a suitcase and worry about basic hygiene when your home and your mummy can sort everything out – which is what I plan on doing! Still, packing is horrible and it is one of the reasons why I am writing a Blog – I really will do ANYTHING to avoid packing!

The third thing I strongly dislike is – finding the correct departure gate at an airport. Some people like this, the thrill of finding out where your plane will be in the not too distant future, maybe even the excitement of rushing to be the first or last ones boarded, some people look forward to mingling in the departure lounge. These people obviously have mental conditions. Personally I hate this part. I hate trying to find the departure gate number on the ticket (nobody really listens to the airline worker who tells you the departure gate – even if you are listening it’s pretty hard to decipher what they are saying – must everyone have an accent different to my own?). Once I finally find the gate number there is the small matter of actually getting there. Confusing signs, idiotic people getting in your way – or my least favourite, the super ignorant airport workers who feel the need to drive about inside the airport, beeping at anyone and everyone – they even shout, which is rude, mean, embarrassing (especially when it’s me they’re shouting at) and totally unnecessary .

Sometimes it’s as if the departure gate doesn’t exist, or maybe it’s just a special platform that us mere Muggles can’t get to (if you have no idea what I’m talking about then you should probably read some Harry Potter, you know, the books that everyone liked before attractive Vampires took over the world/female population). Maybe the next time I ask what departure gate I should head to, I should ask if it’s near Platform 9 and ¾! Once I finally find the departure gate I am back to my pleasant self. I sit in the lounge, go for a walk, listen to music, watch a DVD, get something to eat and now, maybe write a Blog. All these activities are what I love about airports – that and people watching. Don’t judge, you do it too! Airports are one of the best places to watch people – it’s like watching the opening credits of Love Actually, but its real life and obviously not as lovey dovey, oh and Hugh Grant isn’t doing a voice over to tell us that “Love Actually, is, All Around”.

Airports are great places. Over priced shops and fast food restaurants, parents trying to keep an eye on their children, people in revealing tank tops proudly displaying their sunburn, announcements telling you to look after your bags at 30 minute intervals – nothing beats it! Every cloud has a silver lining, I suppose the “Airport Experience” is the much deserved reward for facing your fears and finding the correct departure gate – before the plane leaves!

Now you might be wondering why I chose to talk about these 3 things – getting up early, packing and finding departure gates. Surely these are small, insignificant, petty dislikes. There are better things to dislike – prejudice, racism, bad haircuts, wool toe socks, war and pure orange juice with bits in it. While there are a lot of things that I dislike (and even more things that I like) these three things are particularly relevant tonight – Saturday is getting closer everyday (literally) and I leave for New Zealand on Saturday morning, early. Very early. I still haven’t packed my bags and I have no idea what I should and shouldn’t bring - even when I figure out what to bring, I probably won’t have enough room for everything. I also have to find several departure gates – all by myself. I have to go from Belfast to London, changing from Terminal 1 to Terminal 5. I then have to fly to L.A, where I will have to find another departure gate to take me to New Zealand! So that’s why I wrote this Blog. I wrote it about the 3 things that are currently on my mind – apparently that’s what you do in Blogs – write about yourself, your thoughts and feelings, your friends and family, your ups and downs, what you had for lunch today, all the great and not so great things that happen to you.

Once upon a time, not so long ago, I hated the idea of Blogging. I thought it was self obsessive activity, in which needy, attention seeking people fully participated. While there is an element of self obsession in Blogging (you can’t deny that some people Blog about themselves, hoping that people will take interest), it is actually a pretty good way to keep in contact with friends and family. I find myself enjoying the Blogging process – I get to ramble on about anything and everything I want, maybe someone will read this, maybe they won’t (parents don’t count as people), either way, I find it quite therapeutic. And besides, nothing beats reading other peoples Blogs, it’s the easiest way to be nosey, ever. So in conclusions, Blogs are awesome and you have wasted at least part of your day reading mine! Stay tuned for more self obsessed Blog posts! I promise that the next Blog will be much more exciting... It might even be about my actual, real life, adventures!

xx