10 Things I Hate About You (Beijing)

January 2014

As our time in Beijing draws to a close, I am feeling quite sentimental. The past six months have been full of exciting adventures and while I have loved my time at the other side of the world, there are a few things I’m more than happy to leave behind!

1. The bathrooms – squat toilets. Everywhere. People in China also don’t close the door when they go to the toilet. Many a times have I seen what appeared to be a free cubicle only to discover that it was in fact occupied!  Not only are the cubicles occupied, the people are on their phones, playing games, sending texts and watching movies. Perhaps this explains why Chinese people also spend an absolute age in the cubicle. I have also noticed that most people don’t wash their hands which is just gross. It doesn’t matter where you are, you could be in a backstreet public bathroom or in the headquarters of a multinational company, the toilets smell the same and it is disgusting! Oh, and remember to bring your own toilet paper if you come to China as it isn’t supplied anywhere.

2. The smell in general – every now and then you get a distinct whiff and it is never pleasant. Maybe I’ve gotten used to it but it doesn’t bother me as much as it used to and I still don’t think it’s as bad as the main backpacker streets in Bangkok but it’s still not something you want to experience!

3. The smog – before we came to China I had read a lot about the problem of pollution and smog in China. Last January the AQI (Air Quality Index) reached 700 which was unprecedented and the scale is only supposed to go to 500, with everything over 300 classed as hazardous. Life expectancy in Beijing is shorter than the rest of China due to the smog problem so I wasn’t thrilled about living in that kind of environment. In general the smog actually hasn’t been that bad, the lowest has been around 50 and the highest day we’ve had was around 450. Some people at work say they can “feel” the smog when they breathe in but I haven’t “felt” or noticed anything. Yes, it can be smoggy which reduces the visibility of buildings but it just reminds me of an overcast, foggy day at home! 

4. The spitting/hawking/belching/coughing – this is something that I still find disgusting. You will be happily walking down the road when all of a sudden you hear the most disgusting hawing and retching sounds which culminate in a deafeningly loud spitting sound. They spit where they please; the pavement is effectively an obstacle course and as such I would not advise wearing pumps when you’re walking the streets of Beijing! Chinese people also don’t seem to have the whole cover your mouth/nose when you’re coughing/sneezing thing down. This can be a real problem when you work with kids who cough and sneeze all over you! Gross!

5. Little baby bottoms – that probably sounds strange but it gets weirder. When we first arrived I was walking down the street and all of a sudden I was surrounded by little baby bottoms, just hanging out the back of their trousers, no pants and not a care in the world. Apparently in China the babies don’t wear nappies, instead they have the slit in the back of their trousers and they go to the bathroom where and when they want. We’re talking in the middle of the street or quite disgustingly, over a bin in the middle of a shopping mall. It is odd but perhaps saves lots of money on nappies? Either way, it is one thing I really won’t miss!

6. The pushing/shoving/lack of personal space and complete inability to form an orderly queue – you might think I’m exaggerating but the subway can be complete chaos. You patiently wait for the next train to arrive and as soon as it does, all semblances of a queue disappear and a human freefall of arms, legs, elbows and old ladies explodes along the platform. In Beijing the subway is always busy but sometimes it even surpasses itself and you literally cannot move; it’s all very sardine-esq. But the love of pushing, shoving and cutting lines isn’t just present on the subway. You could be queuing at a restaurant or waiting to pay at a shop and someone will just walk right in front of you and go about their business like they’ve done nothing wrong. 

7. The language barrier – this is less China’s fault and more my own and while it hasn’t been a huge problem, not speaking the language can be a bit of a pain. Being unable to ask and answer simple questions has really made me appreciate how nice it is to live in an English speaking country! 

 

8. Having to cook and clean for myself, like a real life grown up – we have an amazing apartment but the entire floor is tile, not only is this cold on my little toesies, but it is also a huge pain to clean. The air can get quite dusty and it only takes a day or two for the floor to get dirty. We don’t have a hoover so we depend upon a little brush and pan. Even after a comprehensive cleaning the perfectionist in me still finds little pockets of dust! Needless to say, this whole taking care of a house can be pretty tiring! 

9. The censorship – China loves censorship. In fact, in China this Blog is banned. Every social media outlet is completely blocked, this includes Facebook, Twitter, all online Blogs and even news articles that mention China are completely forbidden. The computer just cannot open them which can get extremely frustrating. Luckily I have a VPN which does some high-techy thing and convinces my laptop that it’s in a western country so I can get on to Facebook for the goss and Blogger for these rambling entries!

10. The banking system – Rory and I get paid £1000 a month. We can live comfortable on £200 a month each which means that we have each saved £800 a month. This is pretty great and is going t fun further travels (watch this space) but now we are faced with the problem of getting the money home. The Chinese government won’t let foreigners take out more than $500 a day which would mean at least 10 trips to the bank each and as nobody speaks English this is impossible! Internet banking is also fairly impossible and work has given us some terrible advice regarding money, my favourite was “just smuggle it on the plane” … I’m sure JR would love getting that phone call; “Dad, I’ve been arrested for trying to smuggle foreign currency out of China. I’ll be in a communist jail for the foreseeable future. How’s Kelso?” As of now we still haven’t sorted our money woes out so we might be returning with no money! What an adventure!

11. Not being able to drink water from the tap – who knew that safe, drinkable water from the tap was such a necessity? At the minute we buy 20litre bottles of water which Rory then has to pour in to smaller bottles for the fridge. It’s not the best way to live but it’s all we’ve got! I can’t wait to gulp down some Ballyholme water and to brush my teeth without fear of death!

Ok, so that was more than 10 things, but 11 things I hate about you doesn’t sound as good! It was also pretty long but you only live in China once so why not?!