Thursday 26 January 2012

The beginning of the end…

25th January 2012

Here we are, 2012 and word on the street is that the world is going to end in the not too distant future. I don’t really believe that. I think the Mayans just ran out of space or maybe someone really liked the number or maybe they just loved a good joke. Either way it doesn’t matter, I only mentioned it to break the ice and ease my way back in to the big bad world of Blogging. My rambling might actually be useful – if the world really is to end then I want to fill this year with amazing experiences and maybe I’ll even write about some of them here. If the world doesn’t end, well that’s quite good actually because I’d like to live a long life, full of exciting adventures. One of the biggest adventures was going to by my year in America but that didn’t exactly work out. In fact, it didn’t work out at all, so I decided to ditch my long list of American qualifications and instead I got on a plane and flew home to the rain and a much greater adventure; my life.

It took me a while to realise it but you only get one life. There are no do-over’s. You can’t hit pause and you can’t rewind. This is it, literally. I just sort of thought, why waste my time doing something I don’t enjoy and that isn’t making me a better person, just so I can write some fancy qualifications on a piece of paper. I realized that life is too short to waste and I don’t want to spend one minute of it being unhappy. Some people aren’t afforded the luxury of time and while I’m sure I’ll live a long and full life, there is no guarantee. If this is to be my last year on earth I want it to be a good one. So here I am, back in Bangor, back at Queen’s, back to never ending assignments and constant grey skies but you know what, I feel like I’m back to being me again.

The decision to come home helped me realise that I don’t have to do what everyone else does. I was so focused on my five year plan that I forgot what I really wanted. I know I need to have long term goals and aims but I’ve decided that living my life from each “accomplishment” to the next isn’t what I want my life to be about. I want an excellent C.V but when I sit in the interview chair, I want an excellent life and to be an excellent person. One day, when it’s right and when I’m ready I’ll settle down in a nine-to-five job, maybe I’ll have 1.8 children and a mortgage (and I suppose a husband would be useful) but until then I’m going to do what I want. Selfish? Maybe, but why not? It’s my life, so why spend the next fifty years sitting in a cubicle when I can travel the world, meet new people, spend all my money and come running home when it doesn’t work out liked I’d planned.

So while this Blog hasn’t been about any exciting adventures, it’s a start.